5 Vs 1 | How Many Roadies Does It Take To Beat A Time Trial Bike? This Is Getting Ridiculous…

Connor: This team Time Trial series is getting slightly embarrassing. First, myself and Hank went up against Cy in his TT bike, and we got absolutely trumped. It was a disappointment. Then Alex turned up on the scene, look at those legs, fresh out of the Pro Peloton, he’s an absolute specimen, but it was another disappointment. Then Ollie joined us, kind of, for a bit, he joined us, and we lost once more.

Now, Manon is here, with your track skills, your sprint, finally we can turn the odds in our favor and wipe that smile off of Cy’s face. Manon: I have to say I’ve been very disappointed. You’ve let your friends down, your families down, the viewers, but I’m not here to ride. I’m here as your director [unintelligible 00:00:41] Now get in line. Right, Ollie, you’re not going to drop this time, you’re better than that, I’ve seen your power numbers, come on, you’ve got this. Alex, you’re the most recent ex pro, I’m expecting big things from you, big turns. Come on. Hank, stop surging.


Get your act together. Come on, now. Connor, well, just try and be less of a house, barn door, just get a bit at aero. Aero is key. Connor: Who’s our fifth rider? Cyrus: Here we go then. Back for more guys? How many times have I beaten you now? Actually don’t answer that, we’ll be here all day, won’t we, if we’re honest? I think it’s great Connor, that you guys are back, you’re going to give it another go. I really admire your resilience to defeat, I think that’s great. So, five against one person on a TT bike, there you go. Who is the fifth rider, just out of interest?


Luigi perhaps? Connor: No, Cy. We have got a real pro in our midst. Rory Townsend, from Canyon dhb SunGod. Look at him, he’s a specimen. Rory Townsend has been a pro since 2016, taking a number of respectable podium spots in races, such as the Classic Loire-Atlantique and the Memorial Philippe Van Coningsloo. He has represented his country, Ireland, at world championship level, and has won the springs jersey at the Tour of Britain, like our very own Alex Payton.


Cyrus: [unintelligible 00:02:19] Is he eligible? Is that allowed? Connor: Yes, of course it’s allowed. This is the end, Cy. Cyrus: He looks good. Connor: He is good, that’s why we got him on our team. Cyrus: That will ruin it. Connor: No. We’ll win. We’ll finally end this series and beat you, run that smile off your face for good. How did you get involved in this infamous team time trial squad, Rory? Rory: Well, I was just out training and then Hank called me and asked for a favor, and here I am, but I don’t really know what I’m doing. Connor: How does this team time trial fit into your racing program? Rory: It doesn’t really. Connor: Rory, what’s your favorite color?

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Rory: Blue. Connor: How’s the form? Rory: Pretty good, I think. Spent about six weeks in Cal Pai and then last week I managed to crash 1000 watts in 30 seconds. Connor: I’m just coming off the back of a seven-week training plan on Zwift, and to be honest, I was feeling really confident about today, and then I think Cy kind of got wind of my fitness, and he sent me off on 140K ride to the coast yesterday, half-wheeled me the whole way. I’m not going to lie, I’m a bit tired this morning. I had to ride here as well, because Stacey had to use the car to go to the shops. Hank: I prepared incredibly well for today, because yesterday I rode the turbo for 20 minutes, did one sprint and then had a pizza. Alex: Not a huge amount of prep has gone in there for me. 150K ride from Bristol to Weymouth, a few 25-minute climbs, and let’s just say legs are pretty sore.


Ouch. Ollie: My prep has been kind of okay. I brought my deep wheels this time, which should help, although, I’ve had a slight mechanical. One of my bar end plugs just fell out, so I’ve had to kind of tape my bar, tape on the end, and that’s probably like seven watts. Connor: Three different shades of blue. Manon: Less chit chat and get to the start line now. Cyrus: It takes a long time to walk in front of five riders. Alex: Right. Are we ready? Cyrus: Are you ready guys?


Connor: Yes. Cyrus: Three, two, one. Go. Go, go, go. [music] Manon: Come on lads, move, move, move. let’s go. Come on. [music] Manon: Oh, Ollie, stick on that wheel. Oh, no, Ollie, don’t get dropped. Come on Ollie. [music] Ollie: About to fall. Manon, you got a ball? What? [music] Connor: Well guys, we’ve got him now. [music] Hank: Oh my God. [panting] Cyrus: You’re an absolute animal. Rory: I knew I was going to find it hard. Connor: Good effort, Rory. Ollie: I was on the [unintelligible 00:06:04] for the whole thing. Hank: That top end. This guy is so strong right into the headwind, he’s like 30 miles an hour. Ollie: You did one turn on that big downhill before the little lane, and I was on the back at last, man I was like, whoa. Hank: [unintelligible 00:06:18] Rory: [unintelligible 00:06:20] Hank: Guys, what’s your money on that Cy is going to beat that?

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Rory: If he does, I’m retiring. Hank: Have we got that down on paper? Rory: I actually got it on film. Connor: That was rapid. Nice effort, Rory. Cyrus: I might be screwed, but I’ll give it my best shot. Now, as you can see, my bike has changed slightly. This is still the Orbea Ordu TT bike, but I’ve got some depot wheels on it now. I still can’t get a hold of a disk wheel, would you believe, but Zipp have very kindly sent over some 808 NSWs, which are rapid. To them, I’ve fitted some brand new Pirelli P Zero racers 26mil wide. They are the new super fast clinches. The bike should be even quicker than last time. I think the limiting factor, fundamentally, is the engine.


I was going to do some proper training for this, but time seems to have got away with me. There we go. I did at least manage to get a good ride in yesterday, 90 miles, perfect prep. Connor: Okay, everyone, a bit of respect for the athlete on course now. Cy, are you ready? Cyrus: Yes, mate. Connor: Okay, clear back. For the last ever time trial with Cyrus. Cyrus: Easy tiger. Connor: Okay, I won’t go that far, but we’ll see. Ready? Three, two, one. Everyone: Go, go go. Cyrus: Come on. This is it. [music] Connor: He’s here. He’s here. [clapping] Hank: Have you ever wondered whether one rider on a TT bike would actually be faster than two riders on road bikes who are working together? We cannot let Cy beat us. Connor: [unintelligible 00:08:40] did 400 miles just holding your wheel. [music] Connor: Myself and Hank completed the course in a time of 13 minutes, 40 seconds. Cyrus: 12 minutes, 55 seconds.



Rory: No. Connor: No way. Cyrus: This is my aero dance. Hank: All we need is one extra rider, Alex Paton. [inaudible 00:09:11] Home stretch now. We finished. Cyrus: 12 minutes, 48 seconds. I went one second faster than last time. Rory: 13:16. Cyrus: Oh, my word. Well, I don’t know how many it’s going to take to topple the time trial bike. Do you want to get a Peloton next time? So now there are four. Seriously guys? I think it’s just time to give up. Hank: We’ve enlisted Ollie Bridgewood. [music] Ollie Bridgewood: Seriously guys, how am I supposed to look cool and powerful with that music playing? [music] Conor: We’ll have to go on without him. We did it. 13 minutes and one second. I don’t know. Alex: We went quicker than last time. Cy: 12 minutes 59. There was two seconds in there. Alex: Oh my God. Two seconds. Conor: What? Cy: Okay. It’s all done. All the cards have been laid. Manon, You’ve got the results. Manon: I do. Who’s time do you want first? Cy: Let’s go with me. Manon: Your time, you did 13 minutes 14 seconds. Hank: Oh, 13, 14. Alex: Is that a bit slower than last time? Ollie: That’s exactly what he did last time. Cy: No, it’s not. It’s my slowest yet. It’s the first time I’ve been in 13, I think. Hank: Oh, maybe it’s from yesterday, the sore legs. Manon:


And the lads- Hank: Come on, what we got. Manon: 12 minutes 37 seconds. [cheers] Hank: It’s over. It’s over. We have toppled him. Cy: It’s done. It is done. Yes. Conor: Thanks for coming, Rory. Cy: Fair play guys, fair play. That’s [unintelligible 00:11:21] because not only is that the win today, that’s the fastest ever time around this particular circuit, so, yes, fair play. That’s seriously quick. Thank you all so much for sticking with us through two, through three, through four, right through to five. Please give the lads a big thumbs up because that was epic, but I’m never attempting time trial bike again. [00:11:48] [END OF AUDIO]

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